Being a good wife is not easy, even if you have a near-perfect husband. To be a good wife, you have to be able to communicate effectively, to keep your romance alive, and to be your husband's best friend while maintaining your own identity. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps.
1,Express your feelings and needs effectively. Your husband doesn't have clairvoyant powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around" or you'll never get anything done. If you want to be able to express how you feel, you should be able to speak with a positive tone and to listen to what your husband says instead of being accusatory. Here are some ways to do it:
- Send "I messages." Instead of accusing him of not meeting your needs, focus the conversation on yourself. For instance, tell him, "I feel ignored when I don't see you until 6:30 every night."
- Listen to what he says. When he tells you something, repeat what he said back to him so that he knows you understand. For example, "I hear you saying that you're worried about finances, and that's why you've been working late."
- Avoid passing judgment. Let him finish what he's saying before you respond. After he's done talking, offer a solution. For instance, say, "I'm willing to live on a tighter budget if that means that I get to see you more often."
2,Pick your battles. Some issues are worth fighting about, and some aren't. If you spend all of your time nitpicking your husband about minor problems that don't really matter, then he's not going to listen to you when major issues come up.
- Criticism can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag your husband about how to load the dishwasher "the right way." Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff.
- Avoid criticizing your husband without doing it constructively. Remember to try and be calm and rational, as strong emotions can easily turn a discussion into an argument. If you criticize every little thing he does, then he will quickly tune you out.
- You should praise your husband for the things he does right much more than you argue with him about things that he does wrong. This will make him much more likely to listen to you, and much happier to be around you.
3,Be understanding when you discuss an issue with your husband. Fight right. Don't let anger take over because it may cause you to say things that you will regret later. Even when you don't agree with your husband, you need to respect his opinion and his viewpoint. To be a good wife, you need to understand that you may never agree on certain issues. No couple has an identical set of morals and beliefs, which means that both of you will need to learn to cope with occasions where you just can't resolve your opinions.
- Talk to him at the right time. Don't just spring your problems on him whenever. Avoid bringing up problems before dinner, while he's paying bills or when he's immersed in a stressful situation, like fixing a problem with your car. And never, ever start an argument in front of your children.
- When you're wrong, admit it. You need to learn to respond to arguments and remain rational so you can recognize and apologize when you've made a misstep.
4,Talk to your husband, not about him. Never talk to your friends or your family and say negative things about your husband if you're not communicating with him first. Talking about your husband behind his back is disloyal. When you get married, your first loyalty is to your partner, not to your birth family or your social group.
- Complaining about your husband to your friends and family will not only not solve any of your problems, but it will also make them view your relationship in a more negative light.
- Your friends and family may think they know what's best for you, but they don't know your relationship as well as you do and may unintentionally give you bad advice.